


As One

by Rutherinahobbit



Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Shadowhunter Chronicles - All Media Types
Genre: Gen, Parabatai
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-11
Updated: 2017-11-27
Packaged: 2019-01-16 01:26:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 922
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12332694
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rutherinahobbit/pseuds/Rutherinahobbit
Summary: An exploration of Jace and Alec's bond. Canonical to the TV show.





	1. Not an exact science

The parabatai bond is not an exact science. Jace has been part of one for years now, and he still isn’t really sure how his and Alec’s hearts and souls and minds are combined with the rune magic to make their bond _work_ the way it does.

From day to day, the bond is a sort of background hum. It is not painful, or irritating. Doesn’t feel good or bad or anything really. Jace is aware and not aware of it all at once, like the way he can feel the weight of his jacket on his shoulders or his hair brushing the nape of his neck without his mind resting on the sensations for a moment. If he lets his mind go quiet, and still, he can isolate the feeling – find Alec amidst the mess of sensations. Usually, then, he can tell how close Alec is to him, can tell how his parabatai feels in the broadest strokes – panicked or at ease, in pain or comfortable, contented or unhappy. The bond works to synchronise their heartbeats when in battle – sometimes Jace will feel his heartrate pick up when he’s sitting still and he knows that Alec is training or fighting, he can feel from Alec’s focus and tension if the activity is routine or dangerous.

When they fight together, Jace feels them click into sync with one another, feels the tension in the muscles of Alec’s arms as he raises his bow, senses the flick of Alec’s eyes to the left to establish the enemies’ positions. Knows, as Alec discovers, that there’s a demon coming fast in on his right, and that it’s an impossible shot with the bow so Jace’s blade intervenes. They run at even pace side by side in spite of the extra inches in Alec’s limbs. The battle is what they are _for_ and the bond sings with it.


	2. Her

She arrives and everything changes.

She arrives and everything gets _wrong_.

Alec does know somewhere in the cool rational part of himself that she isn’t entirely to blame really… that the things that have suddenly come to the bitter surface were not going to remain unspoken forever. But he had hoped, and he had _tried_. Tried until his head was heavy and his heart was sick with it.

It feels as though the girl has some power to turn the solid earth under Alec’s feet to ice, and he feels himself slipping and grappling and holding on too tight.

Jace says “but if you don’t trust me…” and Alec feels the ground quake, because if that’s a sentence that even crossed Jace’s _mind_ let alone his lips they’re in more trouble than he thought.  

He says as firmly as he’s able “I trust you, parabatai. Don’t ever doubt me.”

Jace smiles and his grip in Alec’s is as firm and warm as ever.

“It’s forgotten” Jace says. But it’s not.

*

Jace is still feeling the adrenaline in his system, as well as the buoyancy that comes from a successful mission and a victorious fight. Usually, when he steps out of a fight like that, intense but brief, and with a clear safe harbour at its close (the wash of sunlight that envelops them as they step out of the hotel dumort makes Jace’s shoulders drop and lungs expand), Jace relaxes and feels Alec do the same. The adrenalin ebbs, heart beats slow, breathing steadies. But while the cool morning air steadies Jace, Alec seems to get tenser, anxiety spiking, and the feedback from the bond pricks Jace’s senses and keeps him searching for enemies.

“Can I just say one thing?”

And Jace feels his hackles rise, he thought they were past this, thought they were together on this.

“Do not start this again with me, Alec.”

Because Jace is not the enemy, and he doesn’t want to fight. But since when did trying to help someone in need become something to fight over? She was just a girl, and they were supposed to be the protectors weren’t they? Wasn’t that what Alec used to tell him and Izzy when they goofed off in training?

_“Lighten up Alec, we were just having a little fun!”_

_“It's not a joke ok? it’s not for fun. Our duty comes first. People's lives depend on us”_

Didn’t Clary’s life depend on them? and what about the boy? If they hadn’t done what they had, he’d be an empty blood bag by now!

“She just came out of nowhere, Jace.”

Why was he pushing this? Why were they fighting about this?

“Alec, stop!”

Jace felt Alec’s flinch. Softer, softer… he’ll come around, he always does.

“Just stop.”

Why would he do this? Force Jace’s hand like this? Push and push and push until fighting back is the only recourse Jace has.

“I'm older than you, Jace. I'm not in your shadow.”

What is it about Clary that bothers him so much? there have been other girls! and Alec has only ever responded with exasperation and a reminder to keep his head on the mission. What’s he even doing here, if that’s how he feels? Could have stayed out of it, stayed at home - it’s not like Jace would have forced him to come if he was only going to make things difficult, not like Jace even really asked him too.

“If you really feel that way about her why did you help us tonight?”

When Alec turns and walks away Jace is left with the residue of unfinished battle bitter in his throat.


End file.
